Heart Matters

What if the person you loved comes back again and at a time when you almost realized it that you need to forget that person u cant get her back? It's confusing you start thinking why did she come back when you were to get over her, may be not as a lover but as a friend and you hope you don't have to go back through all those stuffs again. Why did u come back I could stay without you. You curse yourself that when things are improving why this twist. Before she comes back your starting to be happy but somewhere inside you your worried because you've started forgetting her, you don't want to forget her, you pray that you don't forget her. And suddenly one day when your not thinking abt her she comes back, your happy as well as shocked, you try to be rude to her but you just cant throw attitude cause you love her. you start convincing yourself that its good that she's back cos you know that how much you were trying to get over, maybe in reality you cant. That person will always stay at the back of your mind no matter what, unless you get someone else, who is absolutely perfect and you can give that love to that someone. Its not as easy to forget. The brain says don't talk forget her, but then the hearts always at your side it kind of convinces you to continue talking saying it will help you to get over. Just because you dont cry, or you dont think about her as much, dusnt mean you're over her. It doesnt mean you've stopped loving her, just means that the intensity has gone down, cos you've put yourself in the mode to not think about her or to be happy and laughing even when shes not there. You don't even want to tell her all this what your thinking cause you think you'll lose her cause she'll feel guilty (at least my girl does feel guilty for me), but then you want to share everything with her. It's confusing at least for me may be you'll feel the same. The only way maybe is to start seeing them as your close friend, and not anything more. It hurts way less, as you dont get jealous or cry or think about them that way as much as you used to.
Why is life confusing? Cant it just leave us alone? Why do we think so much and end up hurting ourselves and confusing ourselves? people say new year and birthdays improve life as in last year was bad this year will be good etc. etc.... Whats so new in the new year except new calenders hanging on the wall. A new year takes with it old problems and bring new problems too. It just keeps increasing. It never becomes less. It keeps getting even more confusing and complicated.
EXPECTATION!! This is the 2nd lethal drug after "THINKING". you still expect things to happen when you know they wont and to build up this expectation there is your past which says it happened once and it will happen again. Expectations clearly hurt. When you dont expect something to happen, it happens, and leaves you shocked. But when you want something to happen, it doesnt, leaves you with only "disappointment". And if the other person does not realise and does not care or bother about ur expectations, its worse. It makes you feel like crap, like you're worth nothing. It takes you hundreds of days to get over one of the expectation you had from her but just takes her a few seconds to build up that expectation and a another hundred days for you to get over it
DREAMS!! I'm talking about dreams that you dream while sleeping as they say "subah ka sapna sach hota hain". One dream someone dreamt about me and I really want that to happen (don't know why I'm writing about this dream. But this dream is like my life wish I could share it with you) Pray that it comes true.

Jab In Love ...

I don’t know why I only want to talk about love may be it’s the topic closest to my heart or may be I’m very upset. I think my first blog could have been better so that’s why the topic is the same. Let’s make that person a he so it’s better to refer. When your hardly in contact with him, he becomes like a drug which you really want to take (talk) but you know its only going to make you feel worse later. Its already hard to get over him and then you still want to talk.



I say it a million times in day that life SUCKS, don’t know why life is so hard to live. Life such a cheat it takes you closer to the sky and then suddenly bangs you on the ground so hard that it becomes difficult to stand up. I hardly remember anything before I met him as in memories. Its like life started when you met him and you just want him or the life to end as soon as possible because you really cant take the shit happening with you. Its not that you don’t trust anyone its just that you don’t think any relationship can work or may be better than the previous one. Even if u weren’t close to him as in not in a relationship you still found it to be lovely you can live with those memories. Those memories are very close to your heart and very precious to you. Just memories stay behind. And even though you've moved on in life, in a new relationship, in a new job, or in a new country, your first love, first relationship, but basically your true love remains at the back of your mind forever. Forever.



When I was small I used to find romantic films shit as in “her smile is the best gift” and all that stuff. But now I really believe that his smile is the best thing.The song

Tum Ho To Gaata Hai Dil ,
Tum Nahin To Geet Kahan,
Tum Ho To Hai Sab Haasil,
Tum Nahin To Kya Hai Yahan
Tum Ho To Hai Sapno Ke Jaisa Haseen Ek Sama
Jo Tum Ho To Yeh Lagta Hai Ke Mil Gayi Har Khushi
Jo Tum Na Ho Yeh Lagta Hai Ke Har Khushi Mein Hai Kami
Tumko Hai Maangti Yeh Zindagi…..

Ooooooooo..Ooooooo….Ooooooo

This song has a wonderful meaning. Even now if hes happy with some one else you really find the smile the best.


Whenever you're happy, you remember him. Whenever you're sad you remember him more. And you somewhere want him to remember you when they're happy or sad. You never regret true love. Even though its painful, even though it hurts, even thought you cant have it, even though you can stay with the person, you can never regret those moments, you can never regret the love that u had and have for them. And if not a relationship, then a healthy friendship is what you pray and hope for. That friendhship is the most precious and closest to you heart. Its more important than any other relation or relationsip you have with the world or with others. Thats what it does to you. Thats what love does to you. Love is magical. In its own way. And i dont know how else to end it, so keep loving, and do put in your thoughts too.

Jab In Love ...

LOVE. No one can really define this word. We’ve heard in movies pyar aisa hota hai waisa hota hai. It brings happiness and this and that……. The list goes on. But everyone’s not that lucky to get the person they love. The feeling is beautiful, it’s like a fairytale. You start thinking and making plans which always don’t work. It changes the way you think the way you live and almost everything in you. Till the time you realise that your changing you’ve already changed.

When you don’t get the person you want to be with it, really hurts. It breaks you from inside TOTALLY. I really don’t know how to explain it but the feeling is terrible. It makes u forget everything else, your really not bothered about anything else except you life. Your so helpless and frustrated because you cant even do anything even if u want to. Your helplessness frustrates you to the core. And you feel like God does not listen to you, maybe he does, maybe he doesnt. Who knows? Sometimes it feels possible to get over that person. But once you start thinking it seems like you can never live without that person. Thinking only takes you to darker places and disturbing things and at the end you precisely end no where. You always remember that person you love when your happy and obviously that’s the biggest reason to make you cry. When you have that person and nothing else you still find things perfectly fine but when you have everything you wanted except that person, life seems miserable. You have to live with the biggest asset you have that is- THE ARTIFICIAL SMILE to make people believe that your happy. Because and that point of time you don’t want people to give you fake sympathy and to tell you that things will get better. But sometimes you don’t want things to get better. Situation is really bad but you still enjoy crying and missing that person. Yes. Enjoy!! Atleast, I enjoy missing.