What if the person you loved comes back again and at a time when you almost realized it that you need to forget that person u cant get her back? It's confusing you start thinking why did she come back when you were to get over her, may be not as a lover but as a friend and you hope you don't have to go back through all those stuffs again. Why did u come back I could stay without you. You curse yourself that when things are improving why this twist. Before she comes back your starting to be happy but somewhere inside you your worried because you've started forgetting her, you don't want to forget her, you pray that you don't forget her. And suddenly one day when your not thinking abt her she comes back, your happy as well as shocked, you try to be rude to her but you just cant throw attitude cause you love her. you start convincing yourself that its good that she's back cos you know that how much you were trying to get over, maybe in reality you cant. That person will always stay at the back of your mind no matter what, unless you get someone else, who is absolutely perfect and you can give that love to that someone. Its not as easy to forget. The brain says don't talk forget her, but then the hearts always at your side it kind of convinces you to continue talking saying it will help you to get over. Just because you dont cry, or you dont think about her as much, dusnt mean you're over her. It doesnt mean you've stopped loving her, just means that the intensity has gone down, cos you've put yourself in the mode to not think about her or to be happy and laughing even when shes not there. You don't even want to tell her all this what your thinking cause you think you'll lose her cause she'll feel guilty (at least my girl does feel guilty for me), but then you want to share everything with her. It's confusing at least for me may be you'll feel the same. The only way maybe is to start seeing them as your close friend, and not anything more. It hurts way less, as you dont get jealous or cry or think about them that way as much as you used to.
Why is life confusing? Cant it just leave us alone? Why do we think so much and end up hurting ourselves and confusing ourselves? people say new year and birthdays improve life as in last year was bad this year will be good etc. etc.... Whats so new in the new year except new calenders hanging on the wall. A new year takes with it old problems and bring new problems too. It just keeps increasing. It never becomes less. It keeps getting even more confusing and complicated.
EXPECTATION!! This is the 2nd lethal drug after "THINKING". you still expect things to happen when you know they wont and to build up this expectation there is your past which says it happened once and it will happen again. Expectations clearly hurt. When you dont expect something to happen, it happens, and leaves you shocked. But when you want something to happen, it doesnt, leaves you with only "disappointment". And if the other person does not realise and does not care or bother about ur expectations, its worse. It makes you feel like crap, like you're worth nothing. It takes you hundreds of days to get over one of the expectation you had from her but just takes her a few seconds to build up that expectation and a another hundred days for you to get over it
DREAMS!! I'm talking about dreams that you dream while sleeping as they say "subah ka sapna sach hota hain". One dream someone dreamt about me and I really want that to happen (don't know why I'm writing about this dream. But this dream is like my life wish I could share it with you) Pray that it comes true.
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